Throughout my career, I've dealt with challenging individuals on a regular basis at work. My supervisor, my coworkers, and even individuals from different departments have all been involved at various points.
In addition, we have our families. I am aware that dealing with family members may be incredibly challenging for many people. I've heard enough tales from friends to know that many people's families occasionally push them to the breaking point.
And let's not even begin to discuss the countless individuals that we must deal with at the businesses that we work with. Whether it was the cell phone provider or the individual who was supposed to replace my roof last year. Before they eventually came and rectified something that should have been done in the first place, I had to follow up every week for about 4 months.
Why was that so difficult?
There is probably no simple explanation for why some people are challenging to work with. As diverse as the people are, so are the causes. We are all unique, therefore it's often surprising that we get along so well.
Let's concentrate on what we can manage, which is our reactions, rather than trying to understand why some people can be so challenging. Let's examine 10 professional strategies for handling challenging individuals.
1. Use Lots of Kindness
See, I understand. The instinctive response when dealing with tough people is to be harsh yourself. Your initial instinct is to defend yourself if you feel like someone is attacking you. I've been there and, if I don't calm down and take a break, I still find myself caught up in it.
What I have discovered in almost every challenging circumstance is that kindness goes a lot further than being challenging. When two people are being tough to each other, the problem frequently worsens until it becomes impossible to resolve.
On the other side, when you repeatedly show compassion to a challenging individual, the situation becomes less tense and you end up having more of what you desire. One of the best methods for handling challenging individuals is this.
2. Be Compassionate
Have you ever heard the proverb about solving your own problems? that if a group of individuals put all their issues into a circle, once everyone saw the other people's, you would probably start taking your own back? I adore it.
The fact is, none of us truly understands what other people experience. When dealing with a difficult person, it's possible that they are going through a terrible situation or are facing a significant issue that you don't want to be involved in.
When you have compassion for someone who is being difficult, you'll often discover that they respond well. We all have a tendency to become so engrossed in our own thoughts and lives that we fail to see the times when others may use some kindness. The next time you consider it, try it.
3. Find Something in Common
Have you ever noticed how striking up a conversation with someone for the first time might be facilitated by discovering a point of commonality? We all enjoy having a sense of community and belonging. This is a fantastic skilled strategy to use when dealing with challenging individuals, and you ought to keep it in mind.
Finding out that we attended the same university as someone always makes us feel more connected. The two of my daughters are now adolescents, but when I learned that my daughters attended the same school as their children, I used to feel a connection with them as parents.
Finding a point of connection with a challenging person can make for a later interaction that goes more smoothly.
4. Stay Calm
Have you ever gotten an email from a coworker that made you immediately angry? More often than I want to recall, this has happened to me.
It might be frustrating to collaborate on a project with a challenging person. I've received an email from a tough person whose main goal seems to be making things more difficult and confused during my less sensible moments. When I don't take a moment to think before answering, what generally occurs is that I send an email that will only make matters worse.
Usually, the outcomes are much better if I am able to maintain my composure and wait a while before answering. When dealing with a challenging person, it will be really helpful for you to maintain your composure.
5. Share Your Side
It can sometimes make a great difference to be able to explain your perspective to someone who is tough to work with.
For instance, it can make a difference if the tough person is your last hope for success after hitting brick wall after brick wall.
Some people become mired in a predetermined script on how to respond to certain circumstances or questions. It can sometimes make a significant impact if you can give some background information on your particular circumstance.
You might explain to them that you've been working on finding a solution to your issue for months and have done X, Y, and Z without success. Sometimes, all it takes to partially unlock the empathy gates and obtain assistance is this. Have a go at it.
6. Treat with Respect
Nobody I know like being made to feel foolish or inept, in my experience. Always remember to respect difficult people when interacting with them. If you attack someone and treat them like an idiot, you might as well just slam the door on your ability to accomplish anything.
Disrespecting someone will almost always make matters worse and, at the very least, make them unwilling to help you in any manner. The golden rule, "treat people as you would like to be treated," applies here. Most of the time, our mothers are correct.
7. Ignore Them
I'm a major advocate of avoiding unpleasant interactions in my life. And why should I? They appear to only offer unfavorable feedback, and I don't need any of that.
In the same vein, sometimes avoiding or ignoring a difficult individual is the best course of action. Naturally, how well you can ignore them will determine this.
For instance, if this is a coworker with whom you don't frequently interact, it could be wise to ignore them.
The same is true for nearby neighbors, specific store patrons, or even potential consumers. Sometimes dealing with tough consumers is simply not worth it. It's not always a terrible idea to let them know they could probably find someone else who could help them in the way they are asking because their requirements might be better met elsewhere.
8. Control What You Can
In life, there are many things we can and cannot control. Always try to concentrate on the things we can influence.
Consider what you can manage while dealing with a challenging person. Perhaps there is another individual you can deal with instead of the challenging one. They might just be the initial link in the chain.
I recently tried to collaborate with the marketing division on a new endeavor I was organizing. I was instructed to seek assistance from a specific individual since that is how it had always been done. I never heard back from the person after contacting them. I left numerous voicemails and emailed this person numerous emails, but I never received a response. I just started contacting other marketing professionals after becoming quite annoyed with never receiving a response.
I was surprised to discover that I could find several folks who were happy to assist me with my project. I essentially avoided the challenging individual. what you can manage.
9. Look at Yourself
Examining oneself is one of the 10 expert strategies for handling challenging people. As you take your attention within. Are you doing anything that makes dealing with someone more difficult than it needs to be?
For example, I'm generally in a pleasant mood. Every day, I engage with people all day long, and things run generally without a hitch.
Even when I'm speaking to other people, there are times when I have a lot on my mind and am mentally working on a solution. I've been told that when I spend a lot of time thinking about myself and also talking with others, I might come off as short, abrupt, and condescending.
Therefore, in this situation, my succinct, dismissive comments can aggravate someone who is already irritated. In essence, my response only serves to fuel the flames.
Examine your interactions with challenging people to make sure you aren't aggravating the situation.
10. Overcome Your Fear of Conflict
Overcoming your fear of disagreement is one of the most effective strategies for working with challenging individuals. Due to their fear of conflict, many people let tough people treat them badly.
Dealing with a problematic individual is stressful enough, but if you don't set limits and advocate for yourself, it gets even harder. Each and every person deserves to be respected. Don't allow a challenging individual to treat you poorly.
I don't support inciting strife on purpose. What I'm advocating is that you shouldn't be afraid of conflict if a difficult individual is mistreating you. Too many people don't defend themselves when necessary, which allows others to control them.
Conflict is not always a negative thing. In many cases, it's beneficial because it can help a resolution materialize.
The Bottom Line
We encounter difficult people in every sphere of our existence. Over the years, I've had numerous challenging coworkers and daily interactions with people in a number of contexts. I'm hoping that these 10 tried-and-true methods for dealing with challenging people may be useful to you in the future.
The ability to communicate with others is essential to living our lives. To make our lives happier and to aid those around us, it is highly worth learning how to cope with challenging people.
