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Both you and the individual speaking to you will benefit more when we demonstrate that we are truly listening. Active listening can help prevent misunderstandings and lessen the likelihood of confrontation.
Here are 10 quick techniques to improve communication and increase the other person's sense of value.
1. Face the speaker and have eye contact
Face-to-face communication should include eye contact. However, making too much eye contact can be intimidating, so consider your surroundings. To demonstrate that you are paying attention, try breaking eye contact every five seconds or so. You may also alternate between looking at their eyes for five seconds at a time to demonstrate that you are listening. Gazing up or to the side as you look away is preferable to looking downward, which could imply that you wish to end the conversation.
Make sure your posture is open; avoid crossing your knees or your arms, which might make you appear "closed" or defensive. While seated, leaning slightly forward or sideways, tilting your head slightly, or resting your head on your palm might all be signs that you are paying attention.
2. “Listen” to non-verbal cues too
Pay attention to what the other person is saying with their body language
You can learn just as much from a person's gestures, tone of voice, and facial expressions as you can from their spoken words. Consider what the other person is saying by their body language, such as whether they are grinning, defendingly crossing their arms, or wiping their eyes to indicate fatigue or annoyance. Even when speaking over the phone, the other person's voice, which may sound mellow or enthusiastic, can reveal a lot about them.
3. Don’t interrupt
Being interrupted annoys the other person because it conveys that you value your opinion above theirs or that you don't have time to listen to what they have to say. Force yourself to slow down if you naturally speak or think more quickly so that the other person can speak. Remember, you don't have to speak up if there is a gap or little period of silence. Allowing the other person to talk will also make it simpler for you to comprehend what they are trying to say.
When the conversation diverts from what they were attempting to educate you about, even interruptions in response to what they just said can be annoying. If this does occur, bring up the topic again by saying, "So, you were telling me about..."
4. Listen without judging, or jumping to conclusions
It can be difficult to pay attention to what is said next if you begin to respond emotionally to what is being stated. Do your best to listen intently. Additionally, avoid supposing that you already know what will be stated after this.
5. Don’t start planning what to say next
It is impossible to listen and plan at the same time.
6. Show that you’re listening
To demonstrate that you're paying attention and nudge the speaker to keep talking, nod your head, smile, and utter insignificant noises like "yeah" and "uh huh." Avoid fidgeting, checking your watch, or playing with your hair or nails.
7. Don’t impose your opinions or solutions
Even though it's not always simple, listening to someone and offering support can be much more satisfying than giving them advice. When a loved one is experiencing health issues, they are more likely to want to express how they are feeling and get things off their chest than to receive a lot of advice on what they should be doing.
Most people prefer to find their own solutions in all facets of life. If you must offer your excellent idea, first find out if they are interested in hearing it. For example, you may ask, "Would you like to hear my suggestions?"
8. Stay focused
If you're having trouble concentrating on what someone is saying, try mentally repeating what they're saying as they say it. This will help you to remember what they're saying and improve your concentration. Try to block out distractions like other in-room talks. Don't look at your phone, either.
9. Ask questions
By politely and thoughtfully clarifying what has been stated, you can demonstrate that you have been paying attention.
When in doubt about your comprehension, wait until the speaker takes a pause before asking, "Did you mean that x?" Alternatively, "I'm not sure if I got what you were saying about..."
Additionally, wherever possible, utilize open-ended inquiries like, "How did it make you feel?" What followed, exactly?
10. Paraphrase and summarise
Repeating what has been said really shows you’ve been paying attention, and allows the speaker to correct you if you haven’t understood
This practice of reiterating what has been said to demonstrate understanding is referred to as reflecting. This may at first seem odd, but it actually demonstrates your attentiveness and gives the speaker the opportunity to correct you if necessary.
If you're unsure of how to begin a statement, consider saying, "Sounds like you are saying..."
And remember….practice makes perfect
You'll need to consciously work on changing your old behaviors if you want to become an active listener. Try spending a week summarizing the key ideas or conclusions from each conversation or encounter. You can develop the habit with the aid of this.
